How to Host Friendsgiving: Plan, Menu and Potluck Tips

Friendsgiving is a Thanksgiving-style meal with friends instead of family, and it has no rules and no official date. That freedom is the appeal, and it is also why a plan helps. Here is a simple one for a first-time host.

Pick the date and format

Friendsgiving usually happens the week or weekend before Thanksgiving, when everyone’s family plans are still open. This year that is the weekend of November 21 and 22. Start planning at least three weeks ahead, which means about the end of this month, and send invitations early.

• Full potluck: you cook the turkey, and everyone brings a dish.
• Hosted dinner: you cook most of it, and guests bring drinks or dessert.
• Takeout feast: order the sides and pies from a bakery or restaurant, and cook only the main dish.

Set up the potluck so dishes don’t double up

The host usually handles the turkey and gravy, since the turkey is the hardest dish to carry. Everyone else signs up for a category. Use a group chat or a shared sign-up sheet so you can see what is coming, and assign dishes ahead of time. Otherwise you may end up with five cranberry sauces and no green beans.

• Appetizers
• Sides, with a mix of hot and cold
• Desserts
• Drinks
• Plates, cups, napkins and serving spoons

Ask about food needs early

Ask each guest about allergies and dietary needs when you send the invitation. Make sure at least one main-style dish works for vegetarians, and label dishes with their main ingredients on the day.

Plan the space

• Count your seats, plates and glasses against the guest list.
• Ask guests to bring a folding chair or a serving utensil if you are short.
• Clear fridge space before the day, because everyone’s dishes will need it.
• Decide where the buffet goes, so the line doesn’t block the kitchen.
• With more than 20 guests, one huge turkey may not fit your oven. Buy a large bird plus extra breasts or legs and roast them separately.

Give people something to do

Friendsgiving is as much about the company as the food. A playlist, board games, a movie after dinner or a round of Friendsgiving bingo keeps the evening easy. Many hosts also add a quick gratitude moment, where everyone shares one thing they are thankful for.

Send a reminder a week before

Message everyone about a week out with the time, the address and the dish each person promised. Ask for setup and cleanup helpers at the same time, so the work doesn’t all fall on you.